In my defense, I was in a deep after-Christmas haze.
I knew it was New Year’s Eve, I knew I had a bag of black eyed peas from last year I didn’t use and I was under the impression I had a kielbasa sort of thing of unknown vintage in the freezer. Good enough. I did like a good Southerner does, and put my beans on to soak.
Next day. New Year’s Day. I start to actually think about what I’m making for dinner. I have no onions. I have no bell pepper, I have no garlic. I have no celery. I have no Tony’s. I have nothing of use but some sad reindeer carrots and one bay leaf. To make matters worse, I cannot locate the sausage I swore was in the freezer. Mere mortals would have moved on to greener meals at this point.
But. Mama needs a new pair of shoes. I WOULD be eating black eyed peas on New Year’s Day.
I diced up those carrots and put, you know, like, a dash of everything in the beans. I also located a tube of turkey sausage.
And here’s where things might have gone awry.
I made turkey sausage meatballs for my black eyed peas. It really sounded like a good idea at the time. I might have patted myself on the back for the sheer genius of the idea.
That’s right. I was proud of this concoction for about an hour as I readied to make the cornbread. AAAAAAND I was out of eggs. Fine. I added a couple of tablespoons of ground flaxseed plus 6 tablespoons of water. Who’s baaaad? Jessica is. She knows how to substitute for missing eggs! Now, I seemed to also be out of milk (you might be gathering that I wore pajamas for then entire week after Christmas, never leaving the house). I did however, locate some vanilla almond milk. At this point, even I was willing to forgo the cornbread. I mean, gross. But, Randy said “just do it!”, so I made those cornbread muffins.
I actually served this meal to my family. And they ATE IT.
That’s love. Because no one wants to see a turkey meatball in their bowl of beans. Nor do they savor vanilla-scented corn rocks stained red by their festive wrappers. I reflected on that as I was left to eat the leftovers, all alone. For a week. I had another tupperware-full of beans and two more muffins to go on a Saturday as I was yelling at everyone for not HELPING ME OUT WITH THE DAMNED BEANS! but I finally accepted defeat and threw it out.
If you knew how my crazy comes out at the thought of food wastage you would be gasping in horror right now.
I hope New Year’s meals aren’t foretelling. Otherwise, it’s gonna be a really weird year.